sigh... onli me

onli a fat bitch like me cud over exert herself packin.. packing for my mini break away is proving itself .. mount everest of a task.n i have yet to do my hair and nails. big  brothers on tonite so lol waitin fr dt gta make dinner. pack . straighten my hair.. ahhh so annoyin. 'g' is nowhere to b found. d bastard. i tx him n no reply.

and along came a boy called G

g is .. g... i have started tlkin to (cyber) a guy named g. n hes cute. theres nt much else to say really  bcz nt much has happend n i dunno if e likes me. n to b honest im mixin him up wiv all the other guys i tlk to. so i dunno if hes the one that likes books lol eitha way. gd luck to me eh

ive like totally stalked him down. all his music and stuff which r pretty gd. n dt means sumthin from sumone skeptical like me... i didnt say he was gna make it doe lol haha .. eitha way. im likin what i see...gna have to lock him down b4 ne one else catches on lol

sigh .. im doin wht i always do. im gettin way too attached. im even gettinm jealous of the girls he tlks to n stalkin dem to c if day r prettier :( hes so music orientated n i reeli cudnt giv a fuck about it.. hes stressin me out alredy n he dnt even no it.. im most definately gna try my up most hardest to get him lol

mini break away

lol so im off to nottingham for my mini break away with my cousin if dis was america id onli be goin to anutha state. so its nothing big. all i no is there will b a bbq (food n liquor), a bar (heels n liqour) and jus general cousin tymm.. i love her. i feel as doe i can go crazy on the break away n nt get bad mouthed because i am the host's cousin :) tyms wen blood  really pulls through for u lol

remind me to talk about my driving test lol ha

good idea? maybe not

ive added my biological father on facebook. it dont seem like much bt its somethin my family n i dnt tlk about. my step dad is great and i love him, call him 'daddy' as he has been around since i was a yung'un. i dunno what the outcome of me adding my father will b.. if he'll remember me or if he'll reject me. *shit* jus remeberd all the swear words and sex related things on my facebook!. hes a pastor now. n he has a wife n 4 children. i dnt remember him. i dunno what i cud possibly want to achieve from this but.. the request has been sent and the waitin game begins.

the ex files... well gets in contact ne way

so my ex n i.. we havent spoken a word for like 2 weeks in the aftermath of a huge fight cause he spoke about me to his ex who i have a problem with. long confusing story. anyway i was beyond mad because she has no right knowin my business and in turn will run n tell her lil friends at uni shit bout me *angry face* *fuming face*

moving on. the cheeky so n so msged me on facebook last night telling dt he wants to see me b4 his 4 month holiday (hes a lil rich boy *rolls eyes*) n i was like no lol hes a lil bitch so carried on harrassin me untill i sed.

'ok im gna decide if ur worth fuckin agen. untill den. au revior'

and he progressively sed

hmm think about the last time hot sweaty sex.. that shoud convince u... SNM and get back to me wud actually mean alot if it happend prob not to u

what a dog.. clearly dts all he was after. tryna sugacoat it lol if i had any viewers i wudda asked what u guys thought.. bt i dont so.. eh.. ill contemplate alone lol ha. i am hitting the one month benchmark of no sex and its killing me slowly. bt rational side of me nos its nt a good idea. n he dont deserve my amazing sex

heartbreak

on reading another girls blog on how she reacted to her breakup . i sympathise wiv her in the sense dat i no hw hard it is. us girls physically do get the 'chest pains' like my heart psychically hurts. i dunno why us girls become these psychotic beings . we think unreasonable stuff is plausible :S crazy like in the blog i was reading she drove outside his work place and waited for him. that is deemed crazy. i wont comment though. cause they were written in 2005 n she probably nos hw crazy she acted. i have on unknown amount of occasions being called psycho myself... i no wen im doin it its crazy bt.. i cant help it... damn my emotional self. women eh lol haha

inspired

i no noones reading this... not too sure that i care to be fair lol ive been reading blogs on infertility and it really upsets me. mayb due to the fact i have a phobia of being infertile. ive wanted kids since i was a kid. << sounds rong i no. bt from the below events ive onli seemd to get stupider, ive upped my overdraft even more. i dnt attend the gym that im paying for and my life as a newly single 20 year old is .. a little above dismal. my relationship status, my uni work, my employment and 'friends' are all pretty shite. sighs. *looks at squallor of uni accommo*... im styll nt gna clean lol i cant b botherd. my days consist of waking up (evenin) watching tv on the net [the good wife] and den sleeping in the early hours.. delightful. not onli do i have to move bk home to my mothers house. bt ive got to do five.. yes five retakes cz smart ol' natalia thought it wud b a gd idea to totally ignore my exams n jus try hard on my impending exams. thus equalling. no summer. sigh. hopefully if ppl do eventually start reading u can join me on my wonderous [yeah right] journey or love and school etc. although i tend to have a problem of not finishin wht i start. so as u can see the months b4 i posted. i throughly hope that i will post agen in this era.